The Penitent

please tell me why these thoughts of death
feelings of an ending life
torture
pain
anguish
hurt
i know i cause so much discomfort
why does it feel so right?

to think just of the pain
the mechanics, oh the method
hows, whys, where to die
why it’s so beyond me
why it’s so so far from me
my confidence
ability.

i say i’d be better off dead
i can’t when i care for you
all i am is unfair to you
all i want is to leave you there
to live your life away from me

my frailty to care
to know the final act of suffering
i could give the one who truly cares
a pain i’ve never felt before
a pain i’ve never felt before

you can overcome
forget what was done
it would be the best for you
and truly
the best for me

i say i’d be better off dead
i can’t when i care for you
all i am is unfair to you
all i want is to leave you there
to live your life away from me