The Penitent

i’m so afraid to have you feel like this
but you’re so afraid of second chances
despite the walls growing in between us
i’m moving on

i’m so afraid of feeling like this
you’re so afraid of going past us
you just betrayed the one to never turn their back

i’m moving on

this is the last time you will betray me
this is the last time that you will hurt me
this is the last time you’ve destroyed my hope
i’m moving on

you build this up the best you could
but there were things misunderstood
like-
how to love and how to care
and always trying to be there
when life was hard and i fell down
you left me crawling on the ground
you let me suffer and didn’t care
all i needed was you there
it’s time for me to be moving on
to start the life that’s not begun

i’ll be okay after you have gone
without you life will still go on
but neither hope not happiness will undo the shit that you have done
i’m moving on.

burning hell burning rage
unholy fear can’t be erased
shaking, tremors. hold me down
lips sewn shut – trapped and bound

shaking…shaking..shaking..

guide me down beneath the flames
make me feel the guilt and shame
pull against your steel resolve
slowly shatter and dissolve

burning hell burning rage
unholy fear can’t be erased
shaking, tremors. hold me down
lips sewn shut – trapped and bound

my veins they flow with blood of ice
no mercy spared, no compromise
malice, hatred, soft licks of lies
all that hides behind your eyes.

burning hell burning rage
unholy fear can’t be erased
shaking, tremors. hold me down
lips sewn shut – trapped and bound

draw your blade across my skin
never thought you’d be so cruel.
another dream lies forgotten
in this spreading pool.

how can you talk when you’ve nothing to say?
how can you live when your soul is decayed?
how can you trust when there’s nothing but lies?
how can you love when you only despise?

don’t look away, don’t look away
your pitiful world will crumble someday
don’t look away, don’t look away
in the end there’s no trust
there’s only betray

how can you be at peace with yourself
when only hate and disgust escape from your mouth?
how can you punish anyone who resists
to fall in your trap where only failure exists?

in the end there is nothing
in the end there is you
in the end there is no one who will comfort you
in the end there’s no mercy
no absolution of guilt
in the end there’s just you
and the lies that you built

let me be your savior
to guide you from the depths
that reach up with a pull so strong
too intense to resist

let me be your confidante
to lead you not astray
the crooking winding paths go far
guiding you away

i am a lover
i am a friend
i mean well
and i understand

i’m a fighter for your heart
i never want to be apart

let me be your everything
let me break you  from these chains
that bind you down without a cause
that curse your life with grief and pain

let me be your helping hand
i’ll reach far as i can
to pick you up when you’re fallen down
to lean against so you can stand

i’m a fighter for your heart
i never want to be apart

a monster in disguise
where ugliness evades
a martyr with no cross
a killer with no blade

you, deceiver
you, destroyer
of everything that’s beautiful
you, denier
you, a liar
you’re everything so horrible

what distance remains to keep us apart
no concept remains no beat of the heart
what silence is kept to keep me away
no promises held to lead me astray
i take my last breath, final sinking down
i found the place to die alone
i see the last light, dim, growing dull
sinking down to unter null

if only you knew
what truth and lies behold
if only you knew
you left me dead and cold
if only you knew
i only wish you dead
if only you knew
i could blame God instead

whatever you lost, you held close at hand
no passion retained, no will to stand
what war you have waged, to fight to the death
no loyalty slips from your dying breath

i try with last hope
fearful, growing scared
i make the last call, mute, fading fast
if only dreams like this would last

i couldn’t listen to my heart
my heart is dead, my heart is dead
i couldn’t hear your cries for help
i continued to entrust instead

i couldn’t open up my arms
my strength is weak, my body’s numb
you fell victim to my charms
you couldn’t see what i’ve become

i’m the devil in disguise
i’m your waking dreams of death
i’m the killer of your soul
i’m your last intake of breath
i’m the voices in your head
i’m the bearer of the cross
i’m the angel fallen down
i’m the one who truly lost

i couldn’t listen to your pleas
i couldn’t stand to let you go
you had no choice of this disease
i led you further down below

i couldn’t see the way i was
my eyes are dead unto all
you opened up my wounds and flaws
just in time to see my fall

my final offer to you
is one pound of flesh
one pound of sin
these deeds have gone unjustified
you entered forceful in my life
i’ve nothing more to offer
while
you take more and more and more
i can’t face the day
you hid the sun
and everything is dark again

i’ve nothing more to offer
while you take more, and more, and more..

you broke my heart
tore me apart
you broke me down
you broke my heart

i’m worthless, useless, this is what you’ve done
i’m scorned and bitter, for you have won

i hope you rot
i hope you rot
you’re worthless, useless

don’t you see what you’ve done?

i’ve fallen down for you before
i will not do this anymore
there’s been enough tears shed for you
if only you could see me now

i’ve wasted time on you once more
i cannot do this anymore
there’s been enough life spent on you
if only you could see me now

i want to make you watch me bleed
as you drain the life from me
i want to make you watch me die
as you have so many times

and i have fought your sorry war
i won’t do this anymore
there’s been enough blood spilled for you
if only you could see me now

and you are rotten to the core
and you have played me for a whore
there’s been enough love lost on you
if only you could see me now

you’re laying in a darkened room and hoping for the time to cease
wishing that this wasn’t real discard your memories
you’re waiting for my company to fill your empty void and need
you fed the lie and i have fed the taste is poison sweet

your friendly gesture’s full of lies
the smile you wear i now despise
your gruesome mask you wear with pride
you twist the truth before my eyes